mabeatsbrown

Victoria

December 26, 2016
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“Mabs Does Movies” wants to bring you a recommendation from the two most popular streaming platforms every week (Netflix and Amazon Video) to indulge your binge watching ways. Here̵…

Source: Victoria

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The story of The Flying Monkey (Chapter 1)

September 4, 2011
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As I was clearing  the forests of paper dug deep in the depths of my room not because I wanted to but because I was being forced to by my mother, I discovered a A4 Pukka Pad which I used way back when I was in year 12, or specifically a rainy autumn day in 2006….{FLASHBACK TIME}

Torrential rain was pouring down on a school lunchtime. Instead of drowning our suits and looking like wet dogs, my friends and I ended up spending this particular lunchtime inside and in the main hall. We had nothing to do. I was talking to two of my very good friends, Michelle Wray (Shell) and Jiahao Mai (JK). So we ended up playing the story game. The story game has a very simple premise. We start off with “Once a upon a time there was” and each player has a turn to write a tiny paragraph until we end up building a story. Now, like all games, there is always one player who thinks its a stupid game (COUGHshellCough) but ends up contributing, without knowing, key parts to what could potentially turn a story to a masterpiece!

So here it is…a made up story which ended up becoming a masterpiece in children’s storytelling….

LOL just kidding…its hilariously stupid…and most of it is just a written shouting match between Shell and I while poor JK was in the middle of it…but here it is…THE STORY OF THE FLYING MONKEY (UNABRIDGED)!

ME: Once upon a time there was a

JK: flying monkey who was trying to have a race with a bird but

SHELL: he died.

Like I said, theres always one player who thinks its a stupid game so we tried again. Once again…THE STORY OF THE FLYING MONKEY (UNABRIDGED)!

ME: Once upon a time there was a flying monkey (who by the way is immortal) who was trying to have a race with a bird but

SHELL: the bird died. But, then another bird came, his brother (the dead birds)

ME: was annoyed that the writer made the main bird die.

JK: Anyway, the flying monkey thought that the little bird is not good enough to beat him so he decided to

SHELL: ride off into the sunset with his friend, the flying donkey.

ME: During their travels, the flying monkey and the flying donkey encountered  some dangers. The first enemy they encountered was

JK: The Swimming Cat. They were 100% sure they could beat him but suddenly flying donkey feels hungry so

SHELL: he eats flying monkey! Uh oh, now its only 50% sure flying donkey will beat swimming cat. IN FACT flying donkey is probably going to die . Hmmmmm…

ME: What happens is that flying donkey, after eating flying monkey, gets desperate to do a poo poo. So flying donkey goes for a poo poo during the middle of the battle. While doing a poo poo, flying monkey comes out with the poo poo but not as flying monkey…he comes out as SUPER ENLIGHTENED FLYING MONKEY!!! So now they have a 150% chance of killing the swimming cat. They both go back to the battle and

{Okay, so this wasn’t my greatest piece of writing. Poo Poo? God, I was a noob when I was 16)

JK: flying donkey felt really sick because he ate the whole flying monkey, so swimming cat says, “haha! you

SHELL: will all die!” Reaching behind a convenient tree he pulled out his secret weapon…FLYING COW! Flying Cow whipped out a machine gun and killed flying donkey and flying monkey. DEAD. Even though flying monkey was immortal, flying cow was king of the flying creatures and could take away ANY LIFE. So flying monkey and flying donkey were

DEAD FOREVER!!!!

ME: Well, all of that was a lie! Yes, flying monkey and flying donkey were killed but swimming cat did not realise that all flying animals had a special power. When any flying animals blood was dripped on the ground, each drop of blood would produce a flying animal! It produced

JK: a flying mixed creature of a flying monkey and a flying donkey…BANG! Here it comes…

THE FLYING MODONKEY!

SHELL: Unfortunately, the flying modonkey tripped over as he walked triumphantly away, he spilt NO blood, inside or outside of his/her/its body BUT the shock made his/her/its heart fail. Better find some new heroes Mabs! Muhahahaha!

ME: Well not really. When they tripped, flying modonkey turned back to flying monkey and flying donkey! Wheeeey! Happy ending to chapter one! The flying animals carry on with their journey!

End of Chapter One.

SHELL: SNEAK PREVIEW: In chapter two…they die. Really die. No lies.

ME: Again, what a liar! They don’t die…but face their next enemy, FURRY FISH!

SHELL: but don’t worry, furry fish chokes on his own hairball and DIES! As do flying monkey and flying donkey.

ME: Flying monkey and flying donkey don’t have fur, they have special curtain skin. Furry fish by the way does die by choking on his furball but he does have a mighty battle against the two heroes!

SHELL: In which he kills the flying monkey and flying donkey.

ME: Well not really! End of preview!

SHELL! (because the preview died!)

So that was chapter one. Entertaining no? Coming soon…chapters 2 and 3! Yes there were two more chapters of this….


Winning…A promise to future selves…

August 20, 2011
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After reading Katie Dowling’s Blog entry on the new series of X Factor! (http://katiedowling.wordpress.com/)

Mahbub Ali: ahaha! Amazing blog entry…best blog entry i’ve read all week! x

Katie Dowling: Ah cheers Mabs! Didn’t think anyone read it tbh, nice to know I have at least one fan! 🙂 x

Mahbub Ali: Hey to be honest I read your blog like in june and was inspired by yours to start writing a blog myself…here it is…thank you lol x
https://mabeatsbrown.wordpress.com/

Katie Dowling: ahh no way! Thats amazing! Like mother like son… 🙂
also am I right in thinking you graduated this summer? How did it go? x

Mahbub Ali: I’m starting my Masters end of september x

Katie Dowling: Oh nice one! Well good luck with that, masters does terrify me slightly 😦 x

Mahbub Ali: Lol well have you finished your degree yet? I think you’ll do pretty well studying for a Masters degree 🙂 x

Katie Dowling: Nope I still have a year to go yet! Well if I do decide to do one it won’t be for a while, I’ll have to save up first!
Loving your blog by the way, you should write more 🙂 x

Mahbub Ali: Oh cool thanks! Right now, as you can see from the title of the section, it is just Rambles and Shindiggs…i’m still trying to figure out what I really want to get out of the blog. Btw, why do you write the blog? Just for fun or is there something else? x

Katie Dowling: Well I started writing mine when I first got into Charlie Brooker. His articles in G2 are pretty much rants of whatever is on his mind, so I figured I’d have a go as well. It’s partly just for funsies but as I also would like to go into some form of writing one day, its a good way to practice but also good for a quick link in a job interview or something! 🙂 x

Mahbub Ali: Now, you see these are some great reasons to get into blogging. Right now, I see blogging is a way of getting away from solving boring equations and formulae but I’ve just been too busy to write more blogs (because of maths!) 😦 and I’ve always wanted to write something..like a book or a collection of little stories. So yeh, like you, i see it as a starting place for something big in the future! You and I…mum..we will write something so EPIC, people will be talking about it and reading it for generations! Its going to be LEGEN…(wait for it…gotta warn you cos if you’re lactose intolerent you won’t like the next bit)…DARY! x

Katie Dowling: Exactly! We should possibly screen print this post and include it in our blogs as evidence… x

Mahbub Ali Already ahead of you lol x

Katie Dowling: ‎:D winning x

Mahbub Ali: We’re Winning cos we have Warlock Blood! x

Katie Dowling: warlock blood? whaaatt? x

Mahbub Ali: I meant to say Tiger blood cos Charlie Sheen claims to have Tiger Blood and so, because he is always winning, what i meant to say was:
“We’re Winning cos we have Tiger Blood!” x

Mahbub Ali: I will include this weird part of this convo in the blog as well…lol

Katie Dowling: nah I’m pretty sure we have warlock blood. Charlie Sheen doesn’t have a blog, coincidence? Warlock blood ftw x

Mahbub Ali: WARLOCK BLOOD!!! x


“Eh gringo! I would like a cup of Earl Grey please!”

May 20, 2011
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I’m sitting just opposite the American Embassay; the green part where all things are U.S.of.A. There is a gigantic statue of Franklin Roosevelt on my right, a pillar that looks like a mini version of the Washington Monument with an eagle on top of it on my left, an old dude opposite me (most likely a war veteren who starred in Saving Private Ryan) falling asleep as the sun beams onto his face, and a couple of McDonalds paper bags lying on the floor. No lie, a stereotypical “ghetto” Mexican just walked past. You know the ones that get killed first in GTA. As I looked at the embassay itself, with its gigantic and intimidating golden eagle looking down upon the green, the only thing missing really is the phrase “Don’t fuck with us!” written on the front of the building. Why can’t you just have the flag  like all the other embassasies? I mean, the Canadian embassay, their neighbours, are right opposite them and they don’t have a gigantic hologram of ‘Terrence and Philip’ on their roof!

So, you must be wondering why I’m here in the first place. Well my friend (whos of cyprus origin) is going to America this summer and he needs to get a visa as hes gonna be working there for 10 weeks. Firstly, he can do all of that by himself (he’s not a moron) but he needs someone to keep hold of his electronic devices as the embassay has a no tolerance to “portable circuit boards” policy. He did suggest that I can wait with him for half an hour outside before his appointment but I kindly declined. What if they find out my surname is “Ali”? Can’t risk missing any of my weekly American shows that I watch. My friend tells me that it will most likely take him a maximum of 30 minutes for everything to be processed (thats how long it took last year for him when he went to America) so I told him I’ll be waiting in the park. The minutes go by and the build up of pigeons near me rose. It seemed like the pigeons were building an army to invade overseas. 30 minutes became 45 minutes and I see my friend rushing back towards me and telling me that it hasn’t been processed yet. They won’t allow the photo he used last year for the visa! Now, I don’t know if they looked at his photo from last year but I can safely say he hasn’t changed his skin colour, had a nip/tuck, or lost an eye. So we found a chemist, got his photo taken, and then he rushed back in.

After an hour and 30 minutes, 56 people coming out of the door which my friend went in through, and noticing that whoever made Eisenhower pose like a fashionistta for his statue was an absolute genius, my friend comes out and delivers the bad news. Because his surname is something that the embassay found hard to say or looked weird to them, they have to send his visa application to WASHINGTON to get it verified by nutjobs over there before they can process anything further…and the length of time it will take them to respond back…NINE WEEKS! HE FRAKKIN LEAVING IN 4 WEEKS! I was so angry! Angry at the fact that prejudice and stereotypical views are still being used in the modern world. That people have to feel like they need to be judged on actions they did not commit.

I felt like I wanted to ban myself from consuming, watching, purchasing anything American! I pondered this idea for a few minutes but thought “Fuck it…lets have McDonalds for lunch..”…so we did….


The Hard Work Of A Free Man…

May 16, 2011
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Warning: Will contain some strong language

Right…my final third year exam was done and dusted last friday. Feelings about it are…well…weird. I didn’t feel happy or sad when it was over. Just no emotion. This exam and all the previous ones I had to give my sleep away for were fine. It wasn’t something I wanted to do but without it, I won’t enter the “next stage” in my life. Thats what teachers and parents have beaten our minds into…and they’re right. So why no feelings? Maybe because next year I’ve opted to further FURTHER my education by wanting to do a Masters. Seeing most of my friends and fellow students who just came out of their final exam EVER, all happy and relieved about having to not go through endless hours of mind numbing revision, and endless months of anxiety over the results of their hard work made me feel well…jealous. They truly have entered their “next stage” in life. I, on the other hand have equations, migraines, and gallons of coffee to look forward to still from september. Not a free man just yet but until september…well lets just say I can go back to sleeping for at least 8 hours a day!

Right…so freedom…how do you use it? Do I opt for taking the relaxation route? Too much relaxation will lead to laziness and laziness will lead to me being bigger! I’m already big…can’t risk with adding a “-ger” to the word! Do I find a new hobby? Writing a blog is a new hobby and one I’m hoping to keep on enjoying…but when will it become something I get bored of? Nearly 90% of the time people will end up trying something new and then just end up getting bored of it or just forget about it.[THIS PART I’M GONNA GO COMPLETELY OFF TOPIC NOW SO BEAR WITH ME HERE]. It’s not just hobbies; we can relate it to buying items, items which we at first seem to think its the right thing to buy…we needed to buy it because it was the “right” thing to do at that time of purchase. And then we use it, play with it, whatever, and then get bored of it and replace it with a new entity…and the cycle starts over again….and it will carry on and on. Do we do this to impress our friends and family so we can get some sort of approval from them or do we do this so we can feel like we’re part of a society? Why do we even have to fall into one of these categories? Don’t we want to be individuals in this over populated world?

Sorry about that…soooo I’ll get back to my options. Right, relaxation and hobbies don’t quite fit my 3/4 months of freedom. What about finding a job? I do have a part-time job in the retail industry and have had one for nearly 5 years…but its fucking boring! If I hear one more customer complaint I will kill them and then kill myself! Then, why do I still do it? Cos I’m fucking good at it! What about finding a relationship with a girl? HAHA GOOD ONE…I’LL LET MY PARENTS EXPLAIN THAT ONE! So I’m left with going travelling or hanging out with my friends? Two very enticing ideas but fuelled by one thing…money! I need money to go travelling; to see the world and broaden my mind, and I need money most of the time to enjoy activities with my friends.

So I’ve ended up back to square one: Working. Working to earn money and using that money to pay for freedom.

It really is hard work being a free man. Who would’ve thought that freedom was a pimp and we’re its whores…